posted by 147 FA on Oct 11
Someone once said that “Love is like a booger…you keep picking at it until you get it, then you wonder what to do with it.†But in order to know what to do with it, you have to know what it is. That may start by first understanding what love is not.
Love is not a feeling or an emotion, nor is it something that you fall into or out of. It is a conscious decision of purpose and will. It is something you step into or step out of. This is important to remember as we deal with long-distance relationships forced on us by deployment. Both the soldier and the folks at home will necessarily change at least a little during the separation. What happens to the relationship when we are re-united will depend in large measure on our commitment to stick with our decision to love each other. It is important that we remember this during the R&R leave cycles, and especially after redeployment. This is when we begin to really see the changes in each other and react to those changes.
It is important to understand that there will be adjustments required on both ends of the equation, just as there were when you first became a couple. There were areas where you had to negotiate the relationship and compromise on the differences between you. You have now spent half a year learning to live apart—a year by the time the battalion gets home. It is only natural that it will take some time to learn again how to live together. The choice to love each other is the glue that will hold the relationship together during that adjustment period, just as it was in the beginning of the relationship. You have done it once, and you can do it again. And if you need help, there is plenty available. Choose to love each other enough to seek that help if necessary and you can come out the far side of this deployment even stronger in your relationship than you were going in.
Chaplain Tom Tedmon